Oct292012

Trash Talk

Trash Talk – Week 44

Eventually, the staff of ‘Hand in Glove’ return from their business sojourn in New York and Las Vegas, evacuating before the big storm Frankenstorm hits the Eastern cost, like rats deserting a sinking ship. We return to resurrect the limp and failing body of this organ which has been deprived of sustenance for several weeks now.

So with the days getting shorter, wetter and colder we proudy present this weeks good guys and bad guys.

Up On The Boardwalk

Dexter

Dexter, our favourite Miami Metro Police employed serial killer returns to American TV screens, and with the help of Pirate Bay and uTorrent, returns to my TV screen the day after. I don’t watch much TV, what with the myriad of excruciatingly bad reality shows, celebrity chefs (FFS!!!) and village talent shows, but this is a joy to watch. Now in it’s 7th series the characters and story lines continue to excite. If you’ve a bit of spare cash on your person get the box set from HMV!!

Source: Dexter

John Lennon

Whilst in New York, we took time out from the endless business meetings to visit Strawberry Fields in Central Park to pay homage to John Lennon at the ‘Imagine’ monument, across the road from the Dakota building where he was shot and murdered by Mark Chapman. John Lennon, a true genius who was recently rightly voted as the ‘Ultimate Icon’ of NME’s 60 years of publication. “You, you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…“.

Source: John Lennon

Frank J. Wilson pays homage at the John Lennon 'Imagine' monument

Frank J. Wilson pays homage at the John Lennon ‘Imagine’ monument

Dunking Biscuits

One of the great intimate pleasures of life is dunking biscuits. The un-controlled pleasure of trying to get the biscuit soggy enough so that it mushes in your mouth, but not so soggy that it breaks off in your coffee, leaving a myriad of congealed sludge floating in your hot brew. The biggest challenge of all is trying this with ‘Morning Coffee’ biscuits, the anorexic role-model of the sweet baked product in-crowd!!!

Source: Dunking Biscuits

Meanwhile Down In The Sewer

Brain Freeze

How could a cold drink cause so much pain? Brain freeze is the metaphoric equivalent of an evil bastard putting the insides of your head inside a tourniquet and twisting and twisting and twisting and twisting and twisting… tell me Mr. Darwin, what is the evolutionary benefit of Sphenopalatine Ganglioneuralgia? Brain Freeze – aaaarrggghhhhhhh!!!!!

Source: Brain Freeze

Restaurant Bills with Included Gratuity

What? Included Gratuity? It never fails to amaze me when you receive a restaurant bill which includes a gratuity for ‘Great Service’, a gratuity that is a minimum of 15% of the total bill. Surely it is my decision on whether to pay a gratuity, and then the amount of the gratuity… and there at the bottom of the bill is a space for you to add another 15% for a TIP!!!!!!! I hope I caused enough offence when I wrote in the space allocated for the tip “Tip Included in the Bill”!!!

Men’s Rest Room Attendants

There seems to be a growing explosion in the UK of even the grimiest, grubbiest little drinking hole to have a guy dressed as a waiter, lurking just inside the toilet, hand held out, imploring re-imbursement for the use of his paper goods. Why should I give you a tip for handing me a sheet of paper to dry my hands on. I am perfectly capable of doing this myself. You are NOT providing a service. I know a fair few people who will not wash their hands in these establishments as they feel that they are being intimidated. This in itself leads to a lowering of health hygiene in these premises – surely this is not the aim. Licencees, please understand this really pisses a lot of people of, Please Stop It!!!!

Garth Crooks

Well why not. New readers, please see previous ‘Trash Talk’ Posts…

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